Tuesday, December 23, 2008

There Is No Oz

Ripples of outrage layered with disgust are passing through my body right now. Ripples that look just like a whole lot of other ugly ripples I've witnessed vibrating across the whole country in recent years. All in full view of anyone who bothered to be looking. The hologram theory begins to make sense to me now. Every tiny piece of the picture is exactly the same as every other piece. That's the game. That's the game that we're not supposed to be able to see. But just like Dorothy ripping aside the curtain and seeing some little schmuck standing there instead of some great and mighty godlike being, I see the game, just like she did.

I can't help but recall with disgust the way that little lying sonofabitch, seeing her standing there glaring at him, STILL grabbed for his microphone and STILL tried to use "the voice", "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" Yeah, right.

It's over. You pathetic little weasel. Literally caught red handed and still trying to lie, thinking his lies are going to work, because they always work. Every word out of his lying mouth was a lie. Every one of them. Every single time he opened his mouth from behind that little curtain, every sentence he spoke into that voice transforming microphone was a lie. He was pretending to be something he never was and never could be. He sold an illusion. And he played it for everything he could get. And he was able to walk around scott free because no one would ever know who he was, or that they lived in fear of an illusion, of something that did not even exist.

There is no such thing as the great and mighty Oz. Why did we ever think so? It's such crap. I've met thousands of people in my lifetime and not a one of them was anything but human and mortal. None of them were special. None of them were of some finer quality flesh, what bullshit. Do you want to know the truth of it? The most decent people I've ever met were amongst the poorest people I've ever known. But for all of the rich people I've met, and I've met plenty of them, I can't think of any who gave a damn about anyone but themselves. That's the disease of greed and selfishness. You think your life is all about finding a million ways to masturbate, to get off, and that you deserve to be useless and self-obsessed. You tell yourself lies about being too good to have to think about all the people you're using to get yourself off. You know why? Because deep inside you know what you are. You're desperate for an illusion to excuse the fact that you're addicted to getting yourself off and that in order to do it, people have to die. You're so wasted that you can't even care that you're a monster. You think being a monster makes you better than everyone else.

It doesn't.

All it takes is one person forgetting to be afraid and demanding that the great and mighty Oz explain himself because he's so clearly an asshole that there is no excuse for him anymore. Nothing justifies him. That's what all monsters fear the most because they know that's all it takes. Everyone may be asleep but everyone can wake up, just like that. It's like one of those optical illusions, the Rorschach looking picture of a lamp. You see a lamp, that's all you see. It takes someone else to say, don't you also see the faces? Then you see the faces. Then it's all over. That's how easy it is to wake up. That's what they fear.

That's why the media is a bubbling caldron of shit and lies and putrefaction. It's the disease spreader, the manure spreader, the magic microphone of the great and mighty phony Oz that sells the illusion. That's why we get a new batch of liars every four years but their voices never change. They're all speaking with the same voice through the same tunnel of lies that transforms ordinary, less than ordinary, literally stupid, corrupt, cowardly, self serving assholes into "honorable" "dignified" "respected" LEADERS. OH!! It makes me sick to my stomach. What a thinly veiled scam. What a sack of crap it all is.

I guess you can tell I'm pissed. I am so pissed off. The filth is everywhere, it's everywhere. It's in your house. It's in my house. We're soaking in it. We're breathing it and eating it and drinking it. We can't get away from it. We're just so used to being used, and lied to, and treated like we don't rate, we don't count, we don't matter, we don't get any, like we need permission to exist, that it feels normal. We're proud of it. It's gone on so long that we can't even see ourselves being prostituted to ugly old men with liver spots and nasty breath who make us do all the work as they lay back in their jaundiced cheap euphoria and fantasize about even more depraved ways to get off, because all these other ways just don't cut it anymore. The thrill is gone. It's too easy. Everyone has bought into the illusion that leaders are our superiors instead of our servants and so they stole the mansion and all of the property and cleaned out the bank accounts and snatched up title to all of the land and everyone's houses and now they're selling us off, selling our flesh, eating our flesh, using our children's flesh to get off, and they're just not having as much fun as they used to. They're dying to up the ante.

Let me tell you what I see. I see a basic system that repeats over and again through every walk of life. You're either a thug or you're not. The thugs use violence to kill people and take their stuff. Everybody else is their prey. These thugs wear suits and ties and they drink champagne and they eat five star meals every single day and don't know there's anything else. Marie Antoinettes, all of them. Thugs lie. That's their vehicle. They use fear. They use force. Physical, emotional, intellectual, whatever it takes. Thugs need eunuchs to propagate their control mechanism. They pay their eunuchs a lot of money because people will do anything for a lot of money. They'll teach what you tell them to teach. They'll report what you tell them to report. They'll shoot who you tell them to shoot. They'll do whatever you tell them to do and they'll never ask why. They'll never treat you as their equal because they want that gravy train to keep on rolling. They'll live on their knees to you and in return you'll let them have their own little pond to be big fish in. They can be as despicable and tyrannical as they want, and you'll cover for them. But if they get so much as one inch out of line, you'll take them out. You'll destroy them. They're all afraid of you instead of being afraid of turning into weak, pathetic, useless, cowardly, comfort addicts who live in the cloud cities where no one is poor or suffering. The cloud cities of Donna Reed and Peyton Place and Dallas. They're not responsible for the starving masses or the oppression or the ignorance or the poverty or the wasted potential and lives, no not them. Not the people of the cloud cities who have very nice lives. It's somebody else's fault. It always is. Blame the victims. Yeah, that's it. The victims are the bad people.

Earlier this year, sometime during the summer I met a homeless lady around the corner from my house. She was someone who mattered to me. It's an awfully long story but I can tell you some basic things so you understand why I'm so angry. This lady was someone who worked for the county for over 20 years, and retired. She did all the things you're "supposed" to do. She went to school, got a job, got married, bought a house, had kids, and eventually retired. She paid her taxes and worked hard. She got divorced. Her kids grew up and went off to live their own lives. They were a clean cut family, the kids earned scholarships to college, she's very proud of them. Her two sons are both over in Iraq serving their scum bag in chief. They cared about doing something for their country.

Her daughter, her pride and joy, her talented, beautiful girl got breast cancer. It ate her. She died. She left two little children behind. This homeless lady is their grandmother. She can't get one penny of assistance from the government machine and has been living on the street for over a year and has been knocking herself out to make sure those two kids are taken care of. She's a decent human being and she's found out that when you lose everything through no fault of your own, doing the right things for the right reasons and terrible things happen to you and rip your heart out, that nobody really gives a damn.

I tried to find some thing, some place, some organization, some charity, anything to help this woman. There is NOTHING out here. It is beyond shameful. The government is playing tricks like the ones they play to wipe people off the registered voters lists, any lame excuse to deny people what they deserve. Anything to deprive them of a voice, of a choice, of a chance. Anything to cheat more money into your own pocket at their expense. Anything.

With all of the money out here, and there is major money out here, I guess these folks are just too well fed to give a shit about people who end up on the street. Someone like this grandmother is a 100% ideal candidate to get back up and running if just for a little help. She's not a drug banger, doesn't drink, is not a criminal, is a bible reading Christian, someone of morals and principles who can't stand to be a burden on anyone, someone like this is exactly the type of person who can be helped. This is someone who wants nothing more than to have a job and have a place of her own to live and have a normal life again. What excuse is there really for the Governor to slash what crumbs there are in the so called budget for helping people? What excuse? You tell me. When the friggen corporations are given corporate welfare in staggering chunks, why is this woman living on the street for a whole year with two little children to take care of? Somebody has to explain it to me because I do not understand.

Oh and by the way, I contacted all the churches in this city who bragged on their "outreach" programs. I wrote letters to them all, Dear Pastor so and so. Let me tell you about someone who needs your help. NOT ONE OF THEM responded to me. Don't be shocked now, but not one of them bothered to even check on this woman either. They're all full of crap. Lots of pretty talk without any of that yucky get real walk. Just keep the money coming in folks. Keep the parishioners singing their little songs on Sunday. Everything is beautiful, Christ is the Lord.

Listen for the ripples, as above so below. The fed is the state is the city. It's all corrupt. We'll hear it again because they'll say it again and again. "We have to cut the budget! We need fiscal responsibility!" So they get huge increases for more weapons, more violence, more death, more prisons, more cops, more thugs, more control, more DHS concentration camps, more "intelligence" agencies (i.e. their legalized private anything goes criminals who don't take a salary, they get offered jobs for serious money.) Nothing costs us more than all that control and death crap. Nothing. What we're paying and what we've got along those lines is literally insane. And there's no end in sight. So when it's time to cut the budget where would you look? Would you not look for waste and fraud and maybe negotiate lower prices and all the usual stuff? Wouldn't you go where the most money is being spent and take a long hard look there? If you weren't corrupt you would. But when you're corrupt you go to where the least money is, to the social programs, to welfare, to assistance, to food stamps. FOOD STAMPS for crying out loud. This is not massive amounts of money and if you think it is you'd better look at the "defense" budget. Then don't bother coming around because I don't want to hear it if you're going to support the death machine and stand against the lives of your own fellow man. Something's wrong there bucko. Keep your distance. Fair warning.

What these thugs do, what all the thugs do, is go to the poorest people who have the least money, who get the least money, and take it from them. Leave them to die. There you go, good job. Was it worth it Madeline Albright? Was it worth half a million dead children to get your political rocks off? Indeed it was, she said. Reader, what exactly did we get that was so worth it? You must know right off the top of your head for that price. You don't know. Neither do I.

Yes by treating the most desperate needy people, like you deserve to be treated, you saved us all so much money, supposedly. In spite of all your budget slashing we've never been more in debt. And billionaire bankers have never had it so good before. They've always basked in the oceans of parasitic profits they bilk from every living human being, but free trillions, that's beyond even their wildest wet dreams. That's okay though, it's all those welfare queens living high on the hog on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and trying to decide between taking their sick kids to the doctor or feeding them a highly processed genetically modified chemical laden dinner. Yeah, it's a big party living on welfare, you jerks. Does this even make sense? No it doesn't. It isn't about cutting the budget, it's about killing people who can't defend themselves. It's about being depraved and getting away with it and using the whore media to give your voice a monopoly on the public mind. It's about brute force, selfishness, despicable filthiness, hypocrisy, and just being assholes. It gets them off. They love the stench of death, smoke and handcuffs in the poor parts of town.

Remember how they flocked to New Orleans in the wake of Katrina's floods? They sent out thugs with guns to shoot people in crisis for their lives! That's who the great and mighty Oz is. That's what our government machine is. Oz. There's your great and mighty godlike people. That's who they are. LOOK AT IT. That's who they are. They said, "We finally got rid of them. We couldn't do it but God did". THAT'S WHO THEY ARE. See it. It's reality.

They bussed people out of the state to all over the country and dumped them there. Meanwhile they built Casinos and got them up and running while survivors were traumatized, sick, they'd lost everything. You know the FEMA office in New Orleans was closed a year or so ago. Just closed. Not because people aren't still in crisis, they are. But FEMA's job was to not help. They did a good job. The government rushed in to save the oil companies, and they blew off the people and treated them in ways they wouldn't treat a dog. SEE IT. It's reality.

Back to this homeless lady, this grandmother, I was so upset that I couldn't find her anything. It blew me away that there was no help for her. She'd already been living on the street for a year. She's not stupid, she'd tried everything. She did a very thorough job. She tried hard to find work and couldn't get a job. What's she supposed to do? She has to beg to survive. So that's what she did, every day, every single day, no days off because she had to eat and those children had to eat. That was her life in the great US of A, in filthy rich Silicon Valley with Google's HQ so close by you could throw a rock and hit their building. I guess they can't see homeless people from their picture windows. I guess they can't see them when they go to get their Starbucks everyday, because they didn't see her standing there. For a year.

After a couple of months of going by to talk with her once in a while and give her some money whenever I had some and even when I didn't, I got a feel of this person, and I really liked her. I really admired her. It's too much to tell you about in any depth. It would take too long to really impress upon you how decent and great this lady is. She's had a hard time. A horrible time. No rest. No help. No end in sight. She's been through it and frankly I don't know how she was holding herself together. She's truly brave.

One time when I went to say hello to her, as I got out of my car I saw fifty bucks laying on the ground right in front of me. It was just laying there. I gave it to her and she about came unglued. It really meant so much to her. It wasn't any big deal to me, it's just a wad of paper that some twit was probably going to use to buy lottery tickets or booze. I figured it was better spent on her. Besides, how do you find out who lost their money? Everyone you ask is going to say it was them. Finders keepers in this situation I'm afraid. That's just how it went.

That day I noticed the grocery store she sat outside of had put up a big sign that said something like, "Don't feed the animals". It said "this establishment does not condone poor people begging for chump change so they won't die, at least not in front of our food market. Fuck poor people. We recommend that you ignore them and do not give them any money. We think they suck". That's what it said, regardless of how they phrased it. It was insulting as hell. It blew me away that the management of that piece of crap store couldn't figure out how easy it would have been for them to do so much kindness for this lady. How much food do you think they throw away each day? Yeah. I guess they couldn't bring themselves to help someone perishing for want on their doorstep. Like it would have hurt them. Idiots.

Anyway... that day I asked her if she'd want to come stay with me. I couldn't stand her being out on the street. I just couldn't accept it. So I opened my home to her and said come on in. She was shocked and joyous for about 10 seconds, then she got very quiet. I told her to think it over, no pressure. The offer is there. She naturally had things to think about, questions to ask. I didn't want to push it or make her feel uncomfortable. But I know what she was feeling. Fear. Too good to be true. People don't just ask homeless people to come home with them. It doesn't happen. So we're told. I think she was just too afraid to believe anyone could care enough to open their home to her. No one had cared for a year. What price would it come at, she probably wondered. I don't know what she thought, I'm only guessing. But I know fear when I see it. It was just too scary to trust someone.

I decided to give her time. The weather would be getting cold pretty soon. It might make her more amenable to at least coming by and seeing the place and finding out what a lousy housekeeper I am. I gave her my phone number. She called a couple times. Once when her grandson was taken to the hospital. She needed some moral support. Again a few weeks later when he had a relapse and she was so scared. She was coming apart. I told her it was okay to come apart. She cried. A lot.

Then last week I went by to see her and she wasn't there. I went by again and she wasn't there. I went by today again, and she wasn't there and I got a bad feeling in my gut. I started asking around and eventually was told by someone else out in front of the grocery store, some guy with a radio, and a table, and a big jar filled with dollars, obviously not a homeless person, but doing quite well from the look of it... he said she'd been arrested for shoplifting. That's all he would say.

I have to say this. The government couldn't figure out any way to give this lady a few hundred dollars a month to help her get back on her feet. They just couldn't find a way. It costs too much. It's too much of a burden. But they have no problem spending thousands of dollars a month to incarcerate her. They can pay cops in brand new cars with all the latest tech garbage and loud ass sirens winding out all night to come get her. They can pay the private corporations who operate the prisons. They can pay the fat ass salaries to the thugs that run those places and they can turn their heads when the guards beat the snot out of people. They can afford that. They just can't afford to HELP anyone. You can see it in their faces, the thought of helping anyone disgusts them. It makes them want to puke. But throwing people into cages where they can be kicked and starved and fed poison and be used for medical experimentation and free labor, where they can strip away their human rights, forget American rights, what a joke, there's plenty of money and lust to do that.

Does the punishment even fit the crime? What do you rip off from the supermarket that should cost taxpayers 50 grand a year to keep that person in a cage? What did she supposedly steal? Food? Give me a break.

But here's the thing that I believe is the truth of the matter. This woman didn't shoplift anything. It's not who she is. She had too much at stake to take such a stupid risk for some small little thing from the store. It's not her style. She'd been making it the hard way for a year and was proud of it. It's who she is. She's not a thief. But right after Thanksgiving the supermarket had a truckload of Christmas trees delivered. I don't know what those are going for these days, I haven't bought one for well over a decade. I'm sure they're very profitable. They wanted to set up their little Christmas Tree lot out front and not make their customers see a nice, warm, decent homeless human being out front, during the time of year for charity and caring and kindness, that's just too depressing. It might cut down on profits. The Christmas trees are nicely arranged right where she used to sit every day. They're selling quite well too. Hardly any left. Good for them. That's what it's all about, right?

Excuse me for putting two and two together but I see what's going on here. The store management called the cops and accused her of shoplifting. The cops were all too happy to take her away and destroy her life and let the state finally get their filthy, pedophile hands on those two little kids. They threw her into a cage knowing she had no one to come help her, and no one who would even care. She can't even make bail. It's nothing personal, it's just business. Whatever they said she took, it isn't even worth a night in jail. They destroyed three lives and feel good about it. They got rid of their own little New Orleans riffraff, so they could make some serious profits and keep their customers in the Christmas spirit, spending as much as they possibly can.

Keep up the illusion that this is the best country in the world. Just drag the losers out of the view of spending customers. We don't want them to get upset seeing reality. Let's keep them focused on phoniness and hypocrisy and let them get lost in the despicable insult of celebrating their God's birthday by shopping until they drop. If you don't count the bodies, there is no body count. If you don't see the homeless people, there aren't any homeless people. We must never let hard core reality interfere with our illusions of how swell and upright and happy we are. Quick test to find out how swell you are: count the money in your pocket. That's it. Nothing else matters. If you don't have any, you don't even deserve human dignity, much less justice. Sorry, I'm not all that proud to be an American today. We've got some serious problems when we don't see any value in human life because it means we don't even care about ourselves. That's just stupid.

Happy Holidays one and all, sincerely. I hope everyone gets some rest and a break from all of this shit for a while. Eat good food, reconnect with family and friends, only this year, appreciate it. Not everyone even has a chance to have anything as normal and wonderful as that. See you next year or whenever we meet again. Take care.


  1. Anonymous5:39 AM

    Just came across your blog a couple weeks ago..thought provoking to say the least, all of your writing.

    Unfortunately most people don't want to think, but rely more upon conditioned norms of the culture--such as blissful ignorance based on denial of reality/distractions--at least as long as they are able to.

    Being "awake" or "aware" of the many concurrent problems that are part of the system--as well as the normal trials and tribulations that just come with being human and trying to survive--mostly psychologically for us in the 1st world--but some still get left behind even in basic needs.

    I find life to be much like the 1980's movie---"they live" its like walking around all the time with the magic sunglasses on and seeing all the manipulation/illusions and the alien taskmasters--yet almost no one else does, and you are seen as crazy if you are too aware of things, and even attempt to share information with others. Most people would rather you just talk about who is going to win American idol this year, not about culture/civlization/dehumanizing aspects of this machine we live in...

    I don't think many really would want to take the 'red pill' tis easier to continue and reinforce the hologram and be a good copper-top.

    thanks for sharing your writing.
    "One of the most important phases of maturing is that of
    growth from self-centering to an understanding relationship
    to others... A person is not mature until he has both an
    ability and a willingness to see himself as one among others
    and to do unto others as he would have them do to him."
    H.A. Overstreet

  2. Anonymous11:44 AM

    Hi Ang,

    first and foremost: all the best for you in 2009, may you have all the luck and well-beeing that brave and honest people deserve (and the scumbags get).

    While i´m writing this, the Israeli AirForce-murder squads commit atrocities and the politicians and media-whores repeat the old phrases of "Israeli self-defense" and "blame the victim" balderdash.

    It´s disgusting beyond comprehension; blog´s like yours are beacons of sanity in a sea of political lunacy and personal greediness.

    A voice (actually two voices) of sanity and reason are Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert with their podcast on: http://karmabanqueradio.com/

    On Al Jazeera English:
    and soon on BBC worldwide.

    Check out the current episode of
    "The truth about markets" # 1008.

    “Moloch merely shovels babies into the fire of productive capitalism. Mammon hooks them on the dead heroin of envy.” - Peter Lamborn Wilson

    Take care!


  3. Anonymous1:01 PM

    Well said Angie. We live in the most hypocritical country on Earth, full of 'well-wishers' who can do nothing buy go on pretending that they are 'doing everything they can' while doing absolutely nothing at all (like "prayer").

    This is where the rubber meets the road in this country -- who have you helped out today?

    Our soulless arrogant government is not where we should be looking. No help will be forthcoming from them.

    Nor are the churches where we should be looking, I have true, personal stories of much greater sorrow then this.

    A friend of mine become erratic and was thrown out of his home by his wife. His behavior had become too difficult for her to bear.

    Now homeless, he lost his job and was forced to sleep on the church steps, who would also not help him (he'd been a faithful member for many years).

    His wife divorced him, his church abandoned him and refused any help to him and the membership derided him, running him off if he ever came around.

    His mental condition deteriorated and he was finally hospitalized. A massive brain tumor was discovered. This accounted for his behavior.

    I knew him as a father, loving husband, caring person and could not even begin to imagine how he could have come to such a situation. We've had dinner together on several occasions when I lived there. But now I was three thousand miles away at the time and did not hear about any of this until it was over.

    He did not survive the surgery, and died on the operating table. His wife married another man and conveniently forgot about her own abandonment of the husband that really needed her in his time of need.

    I hold nothing but absolute disgust for that entire church and all the congregation, who turned their backs on one of their own.

    But I have seen this despicable behavior time and time again, literally hundreds of times now (I was in the ministry back then). I cannot begin to tell you how cannibalistic the churches have become, eating and devouring their own, tossing the bones aside when they've satiated their appetite.

    Most of these idiots have their jesus jumping shoes on, and can't even see the suffering they are causing. And they simply do not care.

    This behavior is everywhere today and why when WE cannot bring ourselves to help anyone. We are mistaken to think that our government is going to help when we cannot even help ourselves.

    We ARE the government in truth. And many of us are the callous, soulless, uncaring individuals that occupy government positions (and the churches).

    Your story was very meaningful to me, thank you. ~Survival Acres~

  4. Anonymous7:50 PM

    Just linked to your blog from another site, I'm from Canada and just wanted to comment on another idea for you to try with the Church Crowd (I understand if you don't want anything more to do with them).

    I tried to do almost the exact same thing you did with similar results. I had gone to a smaller local church (forget the big one - it was like what you described) looking to provide for a suddenly unemployed family of 4 with a great need for food.

    It was very cold in a draft ridden home and they hadn't had food for days. I felt something had to be done and so after depleting some of my own resources, I went to a few individuals in the smaller local church and built up my case to support this family.

    A few in turn agreed and told others within and eventually the church gave them a few hundred dollars for food. Twice!!!

    It was a bittersweet resolution but the family was VERY thankful and I hope it taught a valuable lesson to the church as well.

    I believe people with a genuine desire to have a personal RELATIONSHIP with Jesus are truly the ones who would provide help to others.

    Everything else including church life, dressup, dogma's, leader heirarchy, denominations, bible versions, rules, regulations, creeds etc. are what cause the problems(I'm sure other things as well).

    What your country (and mine) needs is more morals and values such as honesty, integrity, self-control and a desire to be unselfish.

    It would be a good place to start anyway :)

  5. When I read your post I felt both good and bad; good that you spoke 'my heart', bad, that wherever you live, you've dealt with situations so similar.

    In my case, her name is Millie; her name is also 'Pepper' - her name is repeated over and over because over the years, I've helped a number of black women who are homeless; suffering, and destitute.

    I help as best I can but I find the same conditions you've outlined; it is frustrating but because there are people out there like you, we do manage find solace and comfort for some.

    I remember when my 'Millie' was homeless; couldn't afford a darned thing, and wanted to reach me - she would write out a note "I need to see you" - cut it in a tiny thin strip, and affix it to my p.o. box with Scotch tape so I could find it when I picked up my mail.

    I knew where her favorite park bench was; I'd drive over, and if I didn't find her there, I'd leave her a 'reply; taped to the slat of the bench. That's how we communicated until she was taken from this world when her heart gave out.

    Millie carried a huge old purse; she stored her life in that purse, and she shared her heart with anyone who cared - I will never ever forget my wonderful times with her.

    I was fortunate to find your post tonight - I'll be sure to have you on my rss feed because you are a treasure indeed.

  6. WOW!
    May I say, Welcome to the Revolution?

  7. Anonymous2:00 PM

    Got to you from Betmo! Glad I did.

    We seem to have similar objectives.

    May our numbers continue to grow!


  8. Thank you for sharing your story about this strong and unfortunate woman up against a sick psychopathic society.

    I only wish that the wealthy deciders and power elite could be made to go through what your friend went through.

    I hope after they die they have to be homeless, cold and ignored for a long damn time.

    Or that by some miracle or revolution they can be thwarted and a loving world by the people and for the people reinstated.

    USA demise is right in front of our faces.