Wednesday, June 02, 2010

If I Don't Like You

If I don't like you, that means I have the right to kill you, doesn't it?

No.  It doesn't.

But if I am very afraid of you, even though you're far away from where I am, that gives me the right to kill you, does it not? 

No.  Still not.

If I am obsessive compulsive about you and I believe that you're out to get me, do I then have the right to kill you? 

No, sorry, still not.

Can I at least imprison you then?  Without a trial.  Without a lawyer.  Without legal rights of any kind because certainly if I fear you, you should have no rights or protections under any law.  Can I at least disappear you away and torture you so that I can feel better?

No.  Not that either.  Sorry.

Well dag nab it, when do I get to kill you?  Because I hate you and that's all there is to it.  Wait, surely hating you gives me the right to kill you.

No.  Sorry, it doesn't.

Damn it!  Look, I really want to kill you, help me out here.  What is a good enough excuse for me to kill you and get away with it? 

Well, there's not many options for you on that. You'd need to make me out to be a threat to you in some way.  A very serious imminent threat to your life.  

Oh I see!  Self defense!  Of course!   Make it look like I am an innocent victim so that nobody would think twice about me killing you. Nobody would try to prosecute me, and better still everybody would agree with me that you needed to be killed, and even better everyone would feel sorry for me. No one could ever claim that it is wrong for me to defend myself against a vicious attacker like you. 

I am not a vicious attacker.  I have never attacked you or anyone else.  You would be lying to accuse me of being a danger to you, and anybody who knows either you or I would know it to be a lie, immediately.  You would be branded a liar and lose all credibility and respect.  No one would tolerate you anymore. 

Oh that would be terrible.  That would never do. I must have utter credibility.  I must be trusted, adored and fawned over.  I must be respected, admired, seen to be truly special. Extraordinary. Extra-special.  I must have room to move around freely and do whatever I like, where ever I like, whenever I like.  If everybody hated me or distrusted me I couldn't get my digs in anywhere and I couldn't flourish and I couldn't insinuate myself into other people's lives and exploit them to death.  I couldn't parasitically extract profitability out of others for personal gain.  I would have to get a job!  GOD NO!  I will not sweat!  I will not toil!  I will be waited on by slaves!  Slaves I say!  Lesser beings than my righteous, extraordinary, special self!  Small little nobodies who grovel and quake in my presence!   I shall be waited on hand and foot and I shall live in comfort and luxury at all times!  I shall want for nothing! I shall be worshipped because I am superior to all others.  I shall make all the rules to make sure everything will always be done my way and I shall kill and destroy all who stand against me!  It is my birthright to have it all for myself and to be worshipped and obeyed!  I am your king!  Everything is mine!  I am everyone's king!  I am king do you hear me!  I am the king of the world! 

Okay.  You know, you might want to try cutting back on the caffeine a little, you seem a bit edgy.  A tad anal.  A little worked up.  A bit delusional.  A bit too self-important.  A bit over the top.  Frankly you sound nuts.  Does that run in the family by any chance?

You dog!  How dare you speak to me in that manner!  I am better than everyone in the world, don't you know that?  How stupid you are!  Boy do you deserve to die!  Look how vicious you are!  Look how you are filled with hate for me!  Look how you hate a good and kind and decent individual who has done you no harm!  What kind of filth are you?  I must defend myself against your hateful venomous aggression!  You are trying to kill me!  Destroy me!  Undermine me!  Lie about me!  Prevent me from having everything I want and getting rid of everyone who doesn't see it my way!  You will pay for this! 

I have one word for you: Valium. Get some. Try it. You need it. Trust me.

You filthy vicious animal!  You're a murderer!  You are evil incarnate!  You're trying to kill me!  HELP! HELP! POLICE!  THIS MAN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

What?!  You are a lunatic!  Did you escape from a mental hospital or something?  You are such a big fat liar!  Now back off!  Stop hitting me with your umbrella you asshole!  Get off of me!


All right, all right, what's going on here?  You there, stop hitting that guy with your umbrella.  I said stop it!  And shut up!  Now!  All right. You, tell me what's happening.

Gladly. I was just sitting here minding my own business when this FREAK with the umbrella comes up to me and starts saying how he hates me and wants to kill me and wants to know how he can kill me and get away with it because he thinks he's the king of the world.  I am not making this up.  Look at him. He's a lunatic!

LIES! LIES! LIES!  Look at how he has harmed me!  Here I am walking along the sidewalk minding my own business, feeding the birds with crumbs from my sweet roll, when this raving murderous crazy person runs up to me and starts stabbing me and shooting me and blowing me up and killing me and hating me for no possible reason!  He is dangerous and I demand that you arrest him immediately before he starts killing nuns or cops or something!  COP KILLER! COP KILLER!

Where were you stabbed?  Where were you shot?

Well I have no stab wounds or gunshot wounds because he missed! Thank God!  But he sure tried to kill me!  I am almost nearly dead right now because of him!  NUN KILLER! COP KILLER!  MURDERER!

Is this true?  Were you trying to stab and shoot this man? 

NO!  Of course not!  You can see for yourself that I have no weapons.  I am the one who was getting battered!  He is the one who is going around beating on people and trying to kill them, not me! 

Umbrella boy, you trying to kill this guy?  What's your problem?  He ain't got no knife or gun or anything else.  What are you trying to pull?

I assure you officer, I am not trying to pull anything.  Every word I have spoken is the God's honest truth.  It is that man behind you, he is the liar!  He is the dangerous killer!   He is the raving lunatic!  You should arrest him right now and save this city from his rampage of hate and murder and killing and depravity!

Okay.  I don't have time for this.  You, Umbrella boy, do not hit anyone else with that thing, do you hear me?  You do it again, I'm taking you downtown.  And you, you get on down the road.  Just try to avoid this guy, who knows what his problem is.  And you too Parasol Pete, get a move on; go that way.  And I don't want to see or hear one more peep out of either of you and I don't want to hear about you either.  Just stay away from each other and mind your own business.  Now get going.


One more word - jail cell.  One word.  Just one.


Good.  Now turn around and start walking.  Go.  Move it. 

You too, turn around the other way and start walking.  Good.  Now that wasn't so hard, was it?


This fictional short dose of common sense and simple humanity was brought to you by Ang, who figures you're probably seriously missing both as much as she is.   This story could never happen today.  It could have happened anytime before the year 2000, roughly, but today it could not happen.  Today the raging hate filled politicized nut case only has to point and cry out, "Terrorist!", and entire SWAT teams descend onto the scene, armed to the teeth with weapons of war, hungry to torture, beat, crush, zap, interrogate, imprison, destroy or kill anything that moves.  This sort of thing cannot mutually coexist with common sense and simple reasonable humanity.

Some things never change.  Some things do.  It would just be nice if the right things changed/ stayed the same as really needed once in a while.  But no.  Ugliness just gets uglier, stupidity just gets stupider, myopia just gets more myopic, aggressors just get more and more aggressive.

But there's always a flip side, and the flip side is the opposite of Stupid Aggressive Myopic Ugliness (SAMU).  This is a good thing.  The contrast between SAMU and that which is not SAMU makes it hard to ignore the SAMU stuff.  The uglier it gets the more it stands out as ugly, and the more it stands out as ugly the weaker it becomes.  In essence, it takes itself out. 

Stupid Aggressive Myopic Ugliness is self defeating, it cannibalizes itself.  It is a self cleaning spot on the dirty carpet of the world.  It may take a while for this indelible truth to be learned so that we can move on as a species, but it will be learned. This indelible truth cannot be avoided or hidden or indefinitely postponed.  Good always prevails over evil and evil always takes itself out.  Maybe not on our personal time scale but on the time scale of universal truth that cannot be touched or tampered with by any mortal.  Men can dick around and act like demonic viral pond scum that consumes innocence and light, but they will never change the world.  They will always lose.   They always have.  They always will.