A Message To Jerry

I read your comment and before I say anything else let me say this, I am sorry.  Thank you for caring enough to be mad at me.  I have not abandoned TOBE, I've just been in a quiet space for a while.

A lot is going on in the world, not much of it good.  How many posts can I write about what is so obvious to those  who are paying attention?  This is all going to play out and I don't see what can be done about it.  What will be, will be.   Not in a mystical sense, in the cause and effect sense.  In all honesty, what's happening is nothing new.  It happens over and over again.  The "new world order" isn't new at all, it's old and putrid and ugly and offensive and it never seems to die.  It's the same old desiccated, heartless and selfish elite establishment types who think the whole world belongs to them on account of their superiority and all and they deserve whatever they want and you don't.  Read some Dickens, it's nothing new.  They're back and going for every last crumb, right here in the free and democratic USA.  By the same token they should all refresh themselves with a good reading of the French Revolution which they are also bringing back.  Round and round it goes.

I haven't posted to the blog because I wanted to be able to say something positive and uplifting and true and not make people want to go lie down in a dark closet with a depression worse than a root canal.  It's been a bitch to find something positive and true to say.  Not necessarily because there is nothing positive and true going on, maybe I just don't know about it.   Logic would indicate that is most likely.  I am sure good things are happening, somewhere.

I had to disconnect from everything for a while, for as long as I needed to, for the sake of my spirit.  Instead of paying attention to the criminals in charge, I watched TV shows I'd never heard of before on YouTube and learned things.  I discovered Ghost Adventures and now believe that spooky things are very real, although I doubt the accepted take on what it really is, is accurate.  Who knows who or what the entities are?  I would not presume them to be anything or anyone we expect them to be, it feels much stranger than that.  Personally I don't think it's such a good idea to play with invisible people but that's just my sensible opinion.  People are free to do as they will with invisible people, just don't ask me to come along.

I might also mention that I went to a local historical park with digital recorder in hand, in the dead quiet of a rainy Tuesday night with the crazy idea of catching an EVP.  I wanted to prove to myself that such things are real because it sure seemed like a whole lot of credible people were reporting getting them.  I got one within the first two minutes of being there and all I can tell you is this,  I will never do that again.  It scared the pee wall eyed crap out of me and I am done.  But now I know for sure the phenomenon is real, which is what I set out to find out.  What it all means is a whole 'nother thing. 

Back to YouTube, I have also watched every episode of Real Crime, a kind of British version of Unsolved Mysteries about horrible terrible crimes committed against innocent people who never saw it coming.  Serial Killers, child abductors and murderers.  In fact the Real Crime series proved so dark, horrible and scary that it led me to the Australian and Canadian equivalents of the same theme and I watched all of their episodes too.  I think I watched over a hundred episodes of horrible terrible bloody murders and crimes of all conceivable nastiness and I learned a lot about the way killers think and see things.  It was interesting to compare the crime stories coming out of each of the four English speaking countries and to get a feel for each culture's way of seeing and thinking about these things.

England seems to have a lot of serial pedophile child killers, Canada has some noteworthy stealth murderers, America has all kinds of loonies but to be fair it's a much bigger country than the others and not nearly as supremely violent as the foreign presses like to make out.  Every country has depraved lunatic serial killers running around so none are any better or worse than others.

I do think that hands down Australia's serial killers are the scariest and most horrifying, but it could just be the graphically realistic recreations of those crimes done for Australian TV which are not typical in the USA, Canada or Britain.  It's hard to say.  Because really, how do you compare Jeffrey Dahmer to the lone gunman who simply kills everyone he sees in a particular town one day?  Horror is horror.

Now you may think this is all really  dark and depressing, but to me it was a step up from where my spirit was.  It was sunshine and lollipops compared to the depressing place inside my head and heart.  Let me make clear, that depressing place was not the product of what I read in the newspapers, it was due to the painful loss of someone I cared about very much.  It hit me hard and the last half of last year is still a blur to me.  It was not a good time for me, and I'll leave it at that.

I am only just now beginning to feel like myself again, so I hope you can understand that I didn't abandon TOBE or retire or anything like that.  That is why I didn't write a post to say good bye,  I'm not done yet.  I obviously won't be posting on a schedule of any kind,  other than my own unpredictable one, which is the whole point of having a blog, at least to me.

That said I am putting up a new honkin' long post today, mostly because of your message and the resultant kick in the butt it gave me to finish the post I started two weeks ago.  I went straight away and finished it.

I heard you, and I hope you don't give up on me.  

Ang